It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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