The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
