Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
