Kiss
Puke
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
