I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
