he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You are a genius and a whore.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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