So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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