she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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