your room smells of hookers.
And success
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
