The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize