google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
