So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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