dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
