I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
