y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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