last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know itâ€™s 1:30am on a Thursday.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.