I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize