Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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