She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
