My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
