The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
