How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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