we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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