by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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