after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
