Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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