We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
