is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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