Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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