how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
