so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
