Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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