Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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