I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
