I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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