What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize