Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize