Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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