the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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