I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
