I just cut my nipple shaving
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
