I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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