I can tuck mytits in my pants
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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