i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
