it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
