It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
