and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My feet surprised me
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