Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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