I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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