2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
