im drinking this country out of the recession.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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