and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
