i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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