Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
