covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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