So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
