you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
