I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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