Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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