i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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