I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize