It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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